City Cast Madison logo
Advertisement image

The Best Headlines Ever in The Onion

Posted on September 17, 2025   |   Updated on September 30, 2025
Rob Thomas

Rob Thomas

A black newspaper box on a city street.

The Onion, the satirical newspaper that began in Madison, is the subject of a new book. (Anthony Zulgadia / Flickr)

Even now, comedians who come to Madison talk about the city almost in awe. This is the place where The Onion was born in 1988, bringing a new kind of satirical journalism to the world.

The Onion left Madison in 2004, and is still going strong and independent as a monthly print publication and a website.

On the City Cast Madison podcast today, we’re revisiting host Bianca Martin’s conversation author Christine Wenc who was part of the flagship staff of The Onion as a UW-Madison college student, and has now written a book, “Funny Because It’s True: How The Onion Created Modern American News Satire.”

Let’s revisit some of the best headlines in The Onion’s long run, from personal faves to the ones that had the most impact.

The issue of The Onion that came out the week after the 9/11 attacks was a huge test for the satirical newspaper. But they passed with flying colors, especially this surprisingly poignant article about a woman showing her patriotism in the kitchen.

I think the editorials in The Onion are somewhat underrated, such as this point-counterpoint in the run-up to the Iraq War that contrasts a reasoned (and prescient critique) of war with a naysayer just saying “Trust me, it won’t” over and over.

A reporter treats our neighbor to the north as sort of a quirky oddball (“It even has its own currency!”).

A very funny article where the nation’s intelligence agency sheepishly reveals that it should have used yellow or pink. “There was probably some really, really important information in these documents.”

The beauty of this one is that it’s just the headline and a photo. I wonder how many kitten photos they looked at to find just the right homicidally adorable one.

‘WA-’

The Onion’s first original trade paperback, “Our Dumb Century,” was full of great historical articles, such as this headline announcing World War II where the font size was so big that “WAR” didn’t fit on one page.

Another politically prescient one, a local dad and self-described constitutional scholar, believes that the Founding Fathers enshrined the “loose assemblage of vague half-notions” in his head.

As I became a father myself, this article about a dad introducing his daughter to all the music and movies he loved weighed heavy on my mind. I still made them watch “The Goonies” anyway.

When there’s a mass shooting, The Onion often reposts this article capturing the frustration Americans feel at the country’s continued inaction. As of last December, they’ve posted it 38 times.

This recent headline reminds us that, while you can take The Onion out of Wisconsin, you can’t take Wisconsin (or its antipathy towards the former Green Bay Packer quarterback) out of The Onion.

This current headline shows how quickly and incisively the Onion can respond to current events, in this case the right-wing crackdown on dissenting opinions about the late conservative podcaster.

Share article

Hey Madison

Sign up for your free daily toolkit to get the most of the city you love.

Can't subscribe? Turn off your ad blocker and try again.

Madison's Best

See All
Madison's BestOctober 28

Halloween Costume Ideas That Just Scream Madison

Panicking about a last-minute costume? Discover 8 hyper-local Halloween costume ideas with a distinct Madison vibe, inspired by recent he...

A collage of costume ideas on a blue background.
Madison's BestOctober 21

UW-Madison’s ‘Inhumanities Building’ Inspires New Book

Discover the history and unique character of UW-Madison’s iconic "Inhumanities Building" in Doug E.L. Haynes’ new illustrated book. Explo...

Madison artist Doug E.L. Haynes, dressed in black, leans against a black metal railing in front of the Mosse Humanities Building at UW Madison, a light-colored brick building.
Madison's BestOctober 13

Practice Shelf-Care at the Wisconsin Book Festival

Discover your next great read at the 25th annual Wisconsin Book Festival Fall Celebration, Oct. 15-18. Enjoy free author events for all a...

A group of people browse a table of books in a bright sunlit space.
Madison's BestOctober 8

Your Favorite Spots To Meet Your Neighbors in Madison

City Cast Madison Neighbors share their favorite places in Madison.

Rolling green hills with wildflowers.
Madison's BestOctober 5

Where To Get Scared in Madison for Spooky Season

Looking for a scare this October in Madison? From horror movies to haunted forests and eerie ghost tours, here is your ultimate guide to...

A poster for "Jeckyll & Hyde" - a ballet dancer in black leaps in front of a foggy, London background.
Madison's BestOctober 1

What To Do in Madison in October 2026

Plan your perfect October 2026 in Madison! Check out the 25th Wisconsin Book Festival, cheer on the Badgers, tour haunted spots, and find...

City Cast Madison’s Hayley Sperling, Bianca Martin, Rob Thomas, and Jade Iseri-Ramos stand in front of a wooden arch-shaped bookcase that is holding books that will be featured at the Wisconsin Book Festival Fall Celebration.
Madison's BestSeptember 23

‘Park People’ Will Satirize Madison’s Protest Culture

Madison filmmaker Corey Holl launches a crowdfunding campaign for his new political satire, "The Park People." Explore the proof-of-conce...

Two production staff members on the left hold equipment and a microphone for two actors sitting on a park bench being filmed.
Madison's BestSeptember 8

Ann Garvin Has a Surprise in Store For Her Readers

Madison author Ann Garvin shares her glee in throwing readers a curveball with her poignant, messy new novel, hitting stores September 8.

Author Ann Garvin poses in front of a red wall.

The latest in Madison

Food & DrinkOctober 29

The Best New Restaurants in Madison

This month’s list of the area’s best new restaurants includes a new outpost for a wildly popular local pizza chain, a new sushi spot near...

On the left a photo of the exterior of Waltzing Matilda’s, which is blue with a pink door, on the right a photo of the interior bar which is well lit with mosaic tiling, and plenty of paintings on the wall.
Madison, ExplainedOctober 27

Will Wisconsin Get Toll Roads Someday?

Will Madison get toll roads? Democratic candidate David Crowley says he is open to Wisconsin toll roads, sparking quick backlash from Rep...

A highway with toll road signs on poles.
Madison, ExplainedOctober 22

Why Wisconsin Cheesemakers Worry About New USDA Rules

A surprise shift in federal grants threatens small Wisconsin dairy operations, prompting state cheesemakers and Senator Tammy Baldwin to...

A red barn that reads "got milk?" and several gray silos.
Madison, ExplainedOctober 20

Your Guide to the Fall 2026 Election in Madison

The big-ticket item on the Nov. 3 ballot for Wisconsin voters is of course the race for governor.

Two signs saying “Vote” outside of a doorway.
Madison, ExplainedOctober 19

Digging Up the Spooky History of Freakfest

Madison's Freakfest event ended several years ago, but its ghosts continue to haunt the city to this day. Here’s a look back at the good,...

A crowd of people, many in costumes, on a city street.
Food & DrinkOctober 15

What Do Madison Beer Drinkers Really Want?

Brewery owner Garth Beyer surveyed over 350 people about their beer and bar preferences. These are his takeaways about Madison's beer scene.

A man sitting in a chair pours beer into a glass.
Madison, ExplainedOctober 7

UW-Madison Professor Receives Nobel Prize in Physics

Discover the backstory behind UW-Madison professor Francis Halzen's Nobel Prize in physics for pioneering the IceCube Neutrino Observator...

An observatory at the South Pole. A metal structure sits on a desolate landscape with the cosmos above it.
Food & DrinkOctober 1

The Best Fall Drinks To Try in Madison

Looking for the perfect pumpkin spice or autumnal drink? Here is your guide to the best coffee shops and bars serving special fall bevera...

A group of multi-colored cocktails sit on a wooden bar.